"You should only eat foods that are made by nature and that’s raw vegetables, raw meats, nuts, and maybe milk, and you can’t eat butter our sour cream because that’s been processed and I’m a stupid 50 years old woman with her head up her ass about the way that food works and has no idea about the progressions in food science"
Date a guy who opens your jars and wine bottles for you
"please. please stop opening all my jars and wine bottles. I’m not ready for them yet. you’re just letting it all go bad. my whole house smells like wine and pickles and I can’t live like this"
i need to be like 12x hotter than i am now
please don’t make people with depression feel guilty for their lack of interest in things or their inability to motivate themselves please and thank you goodbye
on that note, please don’t make people with anxiety feel guilty about their inability to do tasks you deem simple and literally call them children and tell them to grow up because of it
Please don’t make people with anxiety and depression feel guilty.
January: Selfie Olympics
February: Flappy Bird
lets see how the rest of the year goes
March: No Oscar for Leonardo DeCaprio
April: it’s a metaphors, you’re a metaphors, we are a metaphor, if I see another metaphor I’m going to kill someone